That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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