I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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