I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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