I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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