I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
