I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
