Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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