Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
