Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
