So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
