She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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