Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
