Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
