when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
