Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
