I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
