Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
