one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Can I color on your dick again?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
