I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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