It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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