Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
