in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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