You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
