That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
