Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
