glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
