I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
