Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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