Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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