Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
