I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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