sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
