Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
