Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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