I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
