Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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