I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
