You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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