I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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