I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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