...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
