if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
