Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
