thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
