So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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