So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
