Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
