C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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