I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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