finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
