Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
barbara walters just said penis...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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