Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize