I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize