People with herpes should wear stickers.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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