Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Randomize
