Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
