And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
