carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
