we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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