I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
