Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
