I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You were trust falling into bushes
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
